Con artists

Several weeks ago, a gentleman approached me in a Wal-Mart parking lot asking for money. He had a wonderful story, it went something like this, 'my daughter and I are from Wichita Falls (points at daughter in truck). I just bought this truck from my father-in-law, but I left my wallet on his counter. We are almost completely out of gas, can I have a few bucks so we can get home?' I told him I did not have any cash, and moved on. He was not persistent.

A couple of days ago, I ran into the same man, in the same parking lot, around the same time. His story changed ever so slightly but essentially stayed the same. I resisted the urge to call him a moron. Again, I left him with no money. If I see him again, I will definitely let him know how unintelligent he is.

The moral of the story: if you are going to be a con artist, don't be like this guy. Get some brains.

I fail at most things

I am not a good writer. I don't care what they say, I simply am not.

I will not find a job because of this.

In four years of college I have improved my writing by about zero.

I suck.

I am more than somewhat embarrassed.

I'll just go live in my parents basement.

They're coming to take us away.

Apparently, the Department of Homeland Security (which, by the way, is just the most fantastic creation ever developed by our extremely efficient government), has created a machine that will "protect us from further terror attacks." If anyone has been to the airport at anytime in the past seven years, they recognize the extreme efficiency of our friendly neighborhood TSA Agents. We all know these agents, being fully respectful of our material, will remove any and all objects that may pose a threat to the airplane. I often suspect they are simply gathering presents for the winter holidays. The point being however, is that our airport security has seemed (and perhaps "seemed" is the key word), well, exceptional. This machine is designed to make our protection easier. Now, in addition to taking all threatening items from passengers, TSA will be reading our minds. That's right, the machine scans our brainwaves to measure for "terrorwaves!" Apparently, there is a certain brain function that shows you are a threat to society. Minority Report, anyone? The machine also scans your heart rate. Did I mention that there are no wires or gizmos? Just walk through it like a medal detector. Not even our conscience is free, you chimps.

Ranching

I thought of this story while discussing our former President's series of affairs, at lunch. On an aside, when a politician has an extra marital affair, their party always forces their resignation...usually.

My uncle owns a donkey and goat farm near Paris, Texas. Aside from the coyote's, he never has any problems. For the most part, the donkey's see the prowling creatures as nothing more than a nuisance. On several occasions, coyote's have been found dead, apparently the result of a swift, kick to the head. However, this is not the point of my story. The point of the story is that my uncle names all of his donkey's. Here are their names: George Dubya, William Jefferson, Hillary Rodham, Big Richard, and Connie. I pray the humor did not pass you by.

We seem to have forgotten

I woke up early this morning because I wanted to watch the news coverage of September 11th memorial ceremonies. It is still sad. Still traumatic. Still breeds patriotism from so deep in my soul that I am completely enthralled by the greatness of this country, and every bone in my body burns to fight for it. The deepest part of me cries. Passion overwhelms me, revenge destroys me, but most of all, love rallies me. Love for one nation, under God, indivisible. Let us praise God for what he's given us, and let us praise God even when he takes away.

An eventful Sunday!

This story has a little bit of background, so just bear with me. When I interned in Washington D.C. this past summer, I worked with an Air Force Major. At one point in his career he was stationed at Dyess Air Force Base in Abilene, Texas. This coincidence was quite interesting. We had many great talks about A-Town, one of which he used to inform that the greatest barbeque he had ever eaten was at "The Bee Hive," in Albany. A town of 2,000,
Albany sits 30 miles east of Abilene.


Excited about tentilating our taste buds, Kaybee and I drove to Albany yesterday. Only to find that The Bee Hive is closed on Sunday's. We were quite dissapointed. The ambiance of the barbeque pit looked intriguing as well. It had a certain "old western fort" look to it. Our stomachs growling, we turned for home in search of sustenance. Before we left town we had a great laugh, a great many laughs indeed, when we spotted the sign posted above. I have seen a great many church billboards in this area, but this is by far the greatest!

Our adventure did not end there however. Growing hungrier by the minute, we raced to Abilene's lone Chic-fil-A. But it was Sunday, and respecting the American Sabbath Day, the restaraunt was closed. Ach! To Sonic with us! Eating at Sonic, in Abilene, at this time of year, is not enjoyable. The heat is intense, and one is oft tempted to leave the air conditioning on. However, the high fuel price persuades otherwise. So, with the windows down, we sweat and eat. During our meal I accidently left the lights on. Normally, when a person stops their vehicle and removes the keys, a loud, obnoxious ring alerts them that they have left the lights on. I did not remove the keys, I simply turned the engine off. The loud, obnoxious ring did not sound. Thus, I did not turn off the lights. Looking back, I am confused as to why the Sonic employees never mentioned it. Hmm. Nevertheless, the battery was dead. Stone cold, six feet under, completely, 100% dead. Well...more like sleeping. A friendly Texan gave us a jump, and we were on our way.

Us bloody Magazine

Us Magazine just performed the greatest hack job in the history of written journalism. Perhaps in all of journalism combined. Although, Dan Rather's hack job four years ago pretty much takes that cake. This week has shown that the media has no regard for the American people. Rather than allowing Americans to make an unbiased choice, the media seeks to influence them, and decide the presidency for themselves. With Us Magazine leading the way, the media has performed the most biased week of liberal propaganda I have ever witnessed. For those of you that don't know, Propaganda Magazine, ahem, Us Magazine produced a cover story on the soon-to-be VP Sarah Palin that showed their true colors. The same magazine that praised the Obama's with a cover story titled "Why He Loves Her," titled Palin's story "Babies, Lies, and Scandal." It is full of nothing more than a pack of lies. Us Magazine's Editor-in-Chief appeared on Fox News for a few moments today in an attempt to defend his magazine's malicious attack. He claimed that they had spoken with Palin's former neighbors, former co-workers, and family members. Apparently they forged their article around the information they received from these so-called informants. However, I have been changing through Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, NBC, ABC, and CBS today, and every channel interviewed someone from Palin's past. Not a single person had a negative thing to say about her. Hmm. Now, I understand Us Magazine wants to sale magazines, but I hope they lose millions of subscriptions. I will forever boycot this liberal propaganda magazine, and you should too. One last thing, if Sarah Palin were a Democrat, the media would be carrying her upon a golden stool and praising her as the greatest female American to have ever lived. Sickening. Simply sickening.